


"What's It Like Having A Lusus Who Cares For You?"

by gamzonk



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (Healthily) Sober Gamzee, Angst, Comfort, Equigam - Freeform, Lusus, Lusus Talk, M/M, Mentioned Neglect, Minor/Slight Angst, Oneshot, They're More Mature/Grown, Trolls (Homestuck), gamquius - Freeform, possible tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26740444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamzonk/pseuds/gamzonk
Summary: Gamzee comes over to Equius' hive to feel better.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Equius Zahhak
Kudos: 19





	"What's It Like Having A Lusus Who Cares For You?"

TC: HeY EqUiBrO, i GoT a QuEsTiOn To AsK..  
CT: D --> What is it, Gamzee?  
TC: CaN i CoMe OvEr To YoUr HiVe? I’m NoT fEeLiNg AlL tHaT gOoD aNd I tHoUgHt YoU mIgHt Be AbLe To MaKe Me FeEl BeTtEr AnD sTuFf.. BeCaUsE yOu’Ve BeEn NiCeR tO mE aNd AlL... iF mY rEqUeSt Is ToO mUcH tO aSk FoR iT’s FiNe  
TC: I cOuLd JuSt HaNg OuT wItH mYsElF aNd AlL.. :o/  
CT: D --> You can come over anytime, i don’t mind you or your company  
CT: D --> My hive may not be clean to your standards though  
CT: D --> I’ve been busy with making my robots so it’s messy and all  
CT: D --> So apologies if that bothers you, highblood  
CT: D --> Oops. I meant Gamzee  
CT: D --> Not highblood  
TC: ThAt’S pErFeCtLy FiNe! CaN’t Be MuCh WoRsE tHeN mY hIvE.. hAhA!  
TC: AlSo It’S oKaY tO mEsS uP hOw YoU aDdReSs Me, I kNoW yOu ArEn’T qUiTe UsEd To It YeT  
TC: AnYwAyS i’Ll Go AhEaD aNd HeAd OvEr, SeE yOu SoOn! :o)

——————————————————————————————————

Gamzee trudged to Equius’ hive in a hurry, wanting to see his friend as quickly as possible. It was nice having Equius be nice to him now. He guessed snapping and almost killing everyone will make people more tolerant of you. That really isn’t exactly something to be proud of, but oh well. As the troll walked up to the front door of the hive, he got a bit nervous. What if Equius was just nice to him out of pity or something? What if he just secretly still hated him? He really couldn’t tell at this point, which was kind of worrying. He wasn’t the best on picking up cues from people, so he hoped Equius really did enjoy his presence. He tried to push those thoughts aside. There were more important things to worry about right now. Like.. feeling better.. and hanging out with his best friend! That was his goal in coming here after all, so he was planning to fulfill it. After all the mental gymnastics that went on in his thinkpan, he knocked on the door to the hive expectantly, practically shaking from how excited he was. He just realized it’s the first time he’s hanging out with Equius one on one, in his hive and everything. He hoped it would turn out well, as he didn’t want to make himself seem stupid. He wasn’t stupid at all.

The door swung open a few seconds later. “Hello, Gamzee.” Equius said smiling, sweat already starting to form on his forehead and body. Gamzee guessed he might be nervous as well. “Go ahead and come on in, I tried to get some snacks I thought you’d like. To y’know.. make your mood better and all.” The purpleblood nodded with a huge grin forming on his face. “That’s fucking awesome dude, you’re an amazing friend.” Everytime Gamzee went around Equius he realized how small the guy was compared to him.. it was strange. But! He knew he was just naturally very tall. His position on the blood caste and all did that to him. As he continued to think, he heard the other speak up. 

“Are you going to stand in the doorway forever, or are you going to come in?” Equius asked, already walking away to the couch. Gamzee snapped out of his thoughts quickly and mumbled an small apology. He then went into the hive, closing the door as he did. He walked over to the couch, plopping on it and turning the tv on. He flicked through whatever was on for a bit, slouching and practically melting into the couch to get comfortable. Gamzee eventually decided to keep the channel on a My Little Pony episode that was playing. Gog, he loved that show. As he and Equius sat in silence watching the show, Aurthour came by, handing them the snacks that were previously mentioned. The centaur-ish lusus smiled at the two. “Thank you for the food.” Gamzee said, patting its head as appreciation. He then looked over at Equius, his happy expression starting to fall. “What’s it like..... having a lusus that cares for you.... and stuff...?” He watched as the other’s eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden, kind of depressing question. The smaller troll began to sweat a bit more. “Did your lusus not care for you?” Gamzee nodded. “Why else would I have become the way I am? If my lusus had actually done its job then I wouldn’t be like this.” He gestured towards his fragile, underweight body, forcing a laugh. He was kind of happy and sad at the same time opening up to someone for the first time. “I guess I'm thankful for a neglectful lusus in a weird sense.. like yeah.. it has a lot of cons.... loads.. i mean.. the cons outweigh the pros a shit ton.. but at least i’m not some crazy mean highblood or whatever! I’m just me. It's taken a while to accept that my lusus didn’t actually care for me and everything and that hurts a lot... but at least I'm healing and becoming a better troll. It’s thanks to you and all my other friends for helping me recover from everything, and finally be healthily sober. I'll always be thankful for that. You mean a lot to me, truly.” After he spoke, he grabbed a towel and tossed it to the Equius, he could tell he needed one. Equius shared a quiet thanks and wiped it across his forehead, trying not to make things weird. He wasn’t used to the other being so serious. He was glad he was comfortable opening up though. “It’s quite sad to hear that you’ve been through a lot of pain. I.. must have not been the best either. Well not even must have, I WAS just an awful companion and troll in general with how I used to treat you, and everyone else for that matter. I’m forever sorry for that. Knowing that everybody was so cruel to you when you were already suffering so much is just... not right. If I would have actually been a good friend to you and not cared for all the caste stuff none of what happened would have happened-“ Gamzee cut in. “Don’t blame yourself, bro. You and everyone else had every right to be upset with how I act, it wasn’t normal to everyone at the time.” Equius shook his head, he still felt guilty. “It still doesn’t excuse the rudeness you faced. I regret what I did deeply. I mean what I did was a super pathetic way to try and get a highblood i looked up to so much to be in my pitch quadrant. BUT. I'm not interested in you that way anymore, don’t worry.” He took a deep breath to continue, surprised he’s even doing this. “I’m interested in the opposite.” Gamzee looked over at him, gasping. “The opposite? Like.. flushed? Are you motherfucking flushed for me?” Equius nodded, looking away. This was super embarrassing. “Woah.. how did I not notice sooner! You’re crazy good at hiding your feelings dude!” The purpleblood laughed and gently bumped the other’s shoulder, seeing how he was nervous. “I do share the feeling though, how cool!” Equius turned back to look at him. “Seriously? Like.. this isn’t a joke?” “Yup. No need for joking about something serious like this soooo... You know what if you don’t believe me I could prove it.” Gamzee sat up happily, then moved towards him, cupping his cheeks and planting a kiss on his lips. After a few moments he pulled away and laughed. “See? Real flushed feelings for you! I hope that proves that I was in fact not kidding. Also, Since we both share the same feelings.” He paused. “How about we become matesprits?” The room became silent for a moment, only the TV in the background being heard. Equius was just... in shock. “Are you sure? Do you really want to become matesprits with someone like me?” He tried to think of the right words to express his feelings, still trying to grasp at the fact all of this was real. “Not that I'm mad that you like me or anything — I'm quite glad and happy that someone shares those kinds of feelings for me.. I’m just surprised that you out of all people do.” Gamzee rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear Equius act like he wasn’t worthy. A big goofy smile was still on his face as he talked again. “Of course I’m sure, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have kissed you. Now answer the question, you’re the one being difficult here!” Equius fumbled with his fingers nervously, how was this actually happening? “Yes, I would like to be matesprits with you. It would mean the world to me.” He got multiple other towels and used them quickly, as he was sweating a fuck ton at this point, then asked something he felt was important. “I’m glad things turned out this well tonight, did I make you feel better? That was the original plan after all.” Gamzee nodded, trying his best to show how cheered up he was now. “Of course you did! When I was messaging you I was already feeling happy because like.. it’s you, and you’re super cool! Now we should just like.. cuddle and finish watching this My Little Pony episode, because it’s getting pretty interesting!”

And so, Gamzee and Equius cuddled while watching My Little Pony, happy as ever to be together.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was good! I rewrote an old fic I wrote, so I hope it suffices for the major lack of HEALTHY and Non-Smut Equigam/Gamquius on this site.


End file.
